Written by: The Meadows Adolescent Center By Mandy Parsons The teenage years are tough. Tough on teens and difficult for parents. The mood swings, unpredictable behavior, arguments over house rules — it all comes with the territory. But for parents of some teens, these “growing pains” are exacerbated by mental health issues. Pew Research Center reports that depression is rapidly rising among American teenagers. In 2017, 3.2 million teens said they had experienced at least one depressive episode in the last year. Furthermore, teen girls are nearly three times as likely to face depression than boys. Whether male or female, our hurting teens need more help than ever. Parenting a teenager with depression is more common than you think and presents its own unique set of challenges. Among those considerations is how to discipline a depressed teenager. Can depression and discipline coexist? If so, what does effective discipline look like for an adolescent who suffers from depression or other mental health conditions? Can depression and discipline coexist? If so, what does effective discipline look like for an adolescent who suffers from depression or other mental health conditions? Typical or Troubling? You may be wondering, How can I tell if my teenager is depressed? Sometimes it’s difficult to discern what is typical teen behavior and what may be cause for concern. University of Kentucky’s UK HealthCare suggests the following symptoms as indicators that your teen may be battling depression: Persistent Moodiness and Irritability Be on the lookout for an abrupt and drastic change in personality. This is different than episodic mood changes that are triggered by a particular event, and the response seems blown out of proportion. Verbal or Physical Aggression It’s normal for a teenager to have strong reactions; however, behavior that is unusually hostile or violent is problematic. This may look like constant heated arguments at home, school fights, or rebellion against law enforcement. Loss of Interest in Friends Many adolescents pull away from parents or siblings in an effort to assert their independence, but friends are supremely important at this age. If your teen has lost interest in hanging out with friends, it could be a red flag. Sudden Decline in School Performance The transition to middle school or high school is not easy, and fluctuations in academic performance are to be expected. Watch out for sudden and ongoing poor achievement. The onset of school avoidance disorder may be another indicator. Changes in Eating and Sleep Habits Preference for certain foods is one thing, but decreased appetite or a change in eating patterns should be addressed. The same goes for sleep. Teens need their rest, yet sleeping all the time or not wanting to get out of bed may signal depression. And certainly, if your teen self-harms or exhibits other destructive behaviors, seek immediate help. Teen Depression and Effective Discipline As with children, teenagers need guidance and discipline. This may be daunting for parents who are unsure of how to discipline a depressed teenager. How do you balance enforcing rules and clear boundaries while also showing empathy toward your child? Experts maintain that depression and discipline are not mutually exclusive. You can discipline your teen while supporting their mental health and well-being. VerywellFamily.com recommends establishing healthy rules that emphasize good habits surrounding sleep, hygiene, and electronics. Another helpful practice is to create a schedule of interests that provides structure to your teen’s day. This, according to HealthyPlace.com, is called behavioral activation and encourages teens to plan and participate in activities they would normally enjoy. Behavioral activation can help alleviate depression by “creating positive reinforcement feedback loops.” Other practical tips include finding opportunities to praise your teen’s positive behaviors and setting up a reward system for their efforts. Conversely, if they break the rules, choose negative consequences wisely so as not to worsen depressive symptoms like low motivation or self-isolation. Lastly, remember to discipline your teen’s behavior, not their emotions. Emotions are not inherently good or bad. It’s how you cope with them that is important. How to Support Your Teenager’s Mental Health Parenting is not for the faint of heart. Parenting a child or teen with mental health needs is particularly trying. Here are some ideas for supporting your teen: Find times and ways to connect one-on-one without distraction. Ask questions and be an active listener; this includes not interrupting or offering advice. Validate their thoughts and feelings without judgment. Be persistent in discipline but maintain realistic expectations. Learn to pick your battles. Have a no-violence policy and enforce it. Adopt supportive family routines and practices. Get them outside support when needed. At The Meadows Adolescent Center, we have an unmatched passion for helping and healing. If you have a teen who is fighting depression and/or other co-occurring conditions, our treatment program is an excellent option. Our caring professionals are expertly trained to help address the unique issues this age group faces. The goal is to help them develop the skills necessary to change what isn’t working and find lasting healing. To learn more about how we can help your adolescent or teen, reach out today.
