Written by: The Meadows Adolescent Center By Mandy Parsons Not every child likes school. For those of us who thrived in school, that’s difficult to imagine. However, as a parent, I now have one child who loves school and another who would be happy never to go back. And our situation is hardly unique. In fact, a national survey conducted by Yale researchers found that nearly 75% of students polled reported having negative feelings about school. Whether it was due to boredom, stress, or fatigue, the response was eye-opening. But there is a difference in simply disliking school and refusing it altogether. In the years since COVID, there has been an increase in school avoidant behavior, also known as school avoidance disorder. School avoidance has become a growing concern for parents and educators as more and more children are experiencing anxiety resulting in physical symptoms that make them feel incapable of attending school. School avoidance has become a growing concern for parents and educators as more and more children are experiencing anxiety resulting in physical symptoms that make them feel incapable of attending school. What does school avoidance look like, and how is it tied to anxiety? Furthermore, why is it happening and how can you help a child who is struggling? What Is School Avoidance? According to the School Avoidance Alliance, school avoidance happens when “a child refuses to attend school or has difficulty remaining in school the entire day.” The disorder affects between 5% and 28% of youth at some point in their lifetime. What begins as missing a day of school here or there can quickly escalate into something much more concerning. A child with school avoidance disorder may: Complain about physical symptoms like headache or stomach pain right before school Refuse to leave the house Beg parents to let them stay home Throw a tantrum or act defiantly Go to school but retreat to the nurse’s office or another safe place It’s important to distinguish between school avoidance disorder and the desire to take a mental health day every now and then. School refusal is a disruptive behavior that causes family stress and not only impacts a child’s quality of life, but also their education. Family members and students struggling with school avoidance were reported by USA TODAY as experiencing troubled family dynamics, struggling friendships, and poor academic performance. In essence, the condition “threated their prospects of graduation and a thriving future.” The Anxiety Connection Mental health experts believe that school avoidance is rooted in anxiety. Jonathan Dalton, director of the Center for Anxiety and Behavioral Change in Maryland and Virginia, tells USA TODAY that anxiety and avoidance are “teammates” because “they work on the same function.” Simply stated, it’s natural for kids to avoid people, places, and situations that make them feel scared or uncomfortable. The School Avoidance Alliance agrees that anxiety-based school avoidance is “a classic fight-or-flight” response. So, what triggers severe school anxiety? Students may perceive a number of threats to their well-being. Younger children often fear separation from their parents. They may not do well with the long school day or dislike certain routines like nap time. Elementary school is also the time when learning differences become apparent. The transition to middle or high school presents its own set of challenges. Tweens and teens may experience conflict with a teacher or coach. Bullying and social pressures are another culprit. Finally, academic stress also contributes to school avoidance anxiety. Root Causes and Concerns There have always been children who resist going to school; however, the problem has worsened since COVID. The national and state initiative Attendance Works estimates that chronic absence has nearly doubled in the years following COVID, affecting 16 million students. Among those contributing factors is the introduction of remote learning. Many children have become comfortable with virtual learning, especially if a parent is working from home. Also, in the wake of COVID deaths and illness, there remains general confusion about whether a child is healthy enough to attend school. Yet there are consequences of missing too much school. The obvious one is less instruction time which is critical to academic success. Chronically absent students often fall behind or drop out altogether. Similarly, chronic school absence hinders social development and a child’s ability to navigate important relationships. Chronic school absence hinders social development and a child’s ability to navigate important relationships. Equally concerning is the effect it has on their mental health. Children who avoid school because of severe school anxiety never develop healthy coping skills for uncomfortable emotions. Furthermore, many of them express feelings of isolation or loneliness which only exacerbate existing depression. How You Can Help If your child battles school avoidance anxiety, early intervention is key. American Family Physician recommends adopting a collaborative approach that incorporates your family physician, school staff, parents, and a mental health professional. Consider the following tips: Create a safe space to talk with your child about what is causing them distress and offer to work through possible solutions. Schedule an appointment with your pediatrician to rule out other potential medical reasons for symptoms related to school avoidance. Meet with teachers and school staff to make them aware of the problem so they can offer their support. Seek counseling so that your child can learn helpful ways to deal with stress or anxiety. Consider behavioral interventions like cognitive behavioral therapy or exposure therapy. Parenting a school avoidant child is not easy. If your teen struggles with severe school anxiety and you need help, don’t hesitate to contact us. At The Meadows Adolescent Center, our expertly trained staff can help your teen develop the skills necessary to change what isn’t working. Whether it’s mental health issues, trauma, or substance use, our program will help get to the root causes to bring about lasting change and healing.
